Tuesday, 31 January 2017

Want To Be A "Cool Kid" Among Gamers? Follow These 5 Simple Rules! #cool

1. Hate Certain Games and Make Sure Everybody Knows It

As any "cool kid" would know, there are games out there which must be hated at all costs. It doesn't matter if you haven't actually played it yourself. It doesn't matter if there are people out there who enjoy it. It doesn't matter if the game has been significantly improved after being updated. If it's trendy to hate it, then hate it, you must. This means finding content regarding these games anywhere on the Internet and leaving mean comments. It doesn't matter if the content was made by individuals simply doing their job reporting what's new in the gaming industry. No! They deserve to be hated as well for releasing content about a game which you dislike! Cool games to hate right now? No Man's Sky and Call of Duty: Infinite Warfare.

2. Proudly State You're Not A Console Peasant

This is a super cool tip! Play games on PC only. Do not game on consoles. This does mean that you will miss out on some amazing exclusive games like The Last of Us, Zelda, Mario, Uncharted, Persona and many, many others BUT you will be able to tell everybody that you're not a console peasant. Surely, everybody including the ones who game on multiple platforms will have no other choice than to simply bask in the turbulence of your magnificence because you're a "cool kid".

3. Hate Fans Of All Game Genres Except The One You Like

A real "cool kid" always has a specific genre of game they like and they dislike fans of every other genre. So, stick to your favourite game genre and if anybody ever dares to like a different genre, loathe them because they're not cool. You can also go the extra mile by reminding them that the games they enjoy suck and that they aren't real gamers. That'll show them who's cool!

4. While Gaming, Let Everybody Know of Your Awesomeness

When gaming online, it's important that all the other players know who they're playing with. You aren't just another lame noob, you're a "cool kid" and should be known as such! The most effective way of doing this is to get a good gaming headset with a high quality microphone and keep telling everybody about your imaginary sexual exploits with the mother of whoever is currently beating you. This is a surefire way of letting them all know that you're not to be messed with. 

5. Never Give Helpful Advice To Other Gamers

If anyone ever comes to you for advice on how to beat a boss or get past a specific section of a game, never be helpful. That's not cool. You must always remain smug and remember that you're the "cool kid' and you shouldn't be bothered by these noobs and their lack of gaming ability. The coolest thing to reply with in these situations is a simple yet extremely cool "Git Gud". They might get angry at you now but someday they'll come back to thank you for making them a better gamer. Nowhere near as good as yourself, obviously. 

I hope you had a few good laughs reading that. At the end of the day, we can't take anything too seriously. As long as we have a sense of humour and mutual respect, we'll be fine.

Now, if this article has somehow offended you and you have the urge to leave really mean comments, you can visit my Instagram and Facebook.  

Instagram: @beyond_just_games

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